


Chill Out Bro

by Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire



Series: Di’s Carry On Countdown 2020 [31]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, American!Baz, Awkward Confession, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Baz and Shep are bros, Baz is flirting with Simon in his own way, Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), Dramatic Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Epic Bromance, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Frat!Baz, Frat!Shep, Gift Fic, Human Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Oblivious Simon Snow, POV First Person, POV Simon Snow, Prompt Fic, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Shaz - Freeform, Simon doesn't understand when Baz speaks in code, SnowBaz, Watford Eighth Year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:14:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28009788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire/pseuds/Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire
Summary: [Explicit] 18+ Simon and Baz.Set Watford 8th year.Baz and Shep are exchange students from America, (USA specifically.) Simon doesn't mind Shep, but he's very annoyed with Baz.All that perfect hair can only mean one thing - Baz is a plotter.COC 2020 Day 25, DEC 19: Parallel universe.Inappropriate humour.
Relationships: Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Shepard, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Di’s Carry On Countdown 2020 [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023208
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2020





	Chill Out Bro

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ladyofthefl0wers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyofthefl0wers/gifts).



> Dear reader, I hope you will enjoy this silly ficlet. 💙  
>   
>  **Chellie** , this is for you. 💙💙💙
> 
> * * *
> 
> As always so many thanks and love to my amazing friends and betas Blue ([mybluebucketofsnow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybluebucketofsnow/pseuds/mybluebucketofsnow)), [shushu_yaoi_lj (llamapyjamas)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shushu_yaoi_lj/pseuds/shushu_yaoi_lj) and [Theawkwardbibliophile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theawkwardbibliophile/works).  
>   
> Thank you for all the help and support with this COC and everything I write and for being awesome friends. 💙
> 
> * * *

# SIMON

Baz is so annoying. He’s from America. Him and his best friend Shep.

“Where are you going to have your rooms?” I asked when they first appeared at Watford for our eighth year. Just to be friendly and also to check if Baz was plotting something because he seems like the type. 

“We’re probably top house…” he mumbled and high-fived Shep and then did a series of weird winks and faces I didn’t understand.

The reason I believe that Baz has some big scheme going on is simple. He has that kind of face, you know — too pretty. 

Pouty lips, stormy grey eyes, the skin of rosé gold.

_“That’s copper shade, Simon. Don’t be creepy,” Penny said but she clearly didn’t understand anything._

Everything about Baz is so flawless one could lick things of him if one wanted to. (Whipped cream for example or even chocolate mouse could suffice.)

His hair is long, black and silky. I dreamed of touching it on more than one occasion. Not sure why exactly. Possibly because I’ve never touched anyone’s hair before. So a curiosity of sorts.

He and Shep were walking around like royalty.

“You’re not the Queen of England,” I told them once.

“I would rather be Elton John,” Baz giggled.

“Yeah man,” Shep chimed in. “That dude has class.”

I am not entirely sure they know what _class_ is. I might know more and I grew up in care homes.

They are both mad and filthy rich but they are utterly clueless. (I had honestly no idea posh people from America are even worse than posh people from Britain.)

And they refuse to drink our tea.

“Where’s Starbucks at this school?” Baz asked Cook Pritchard and almost gave the poor woman a heart attack.

“Everything is made with magic here, my dear boy,” she informed him.

“We have magickal Starbucks in the States,” he said, flipping his hair back and it took me longer than I care to admit to realize he was talking about _America_.

Baz is such a wanker, it’s practically impossible to decipher what he says on any given day. Or to understand how his hair can look that good.

He’s perfect, _bloody_ perfect.

* * *

I’m walking to class, trying to spot Baz. But he’s clearly more stealthier than me.

“Sup dude!?” he yells at me, while parading his Gucci rucksack for the whole school.

I growl at him through clenched teeth, not knowing how to answer properly.

Baz always speaks in _code_ and wears Gucci and Prada.

Penny googled the brand names for me. She says only obnoxious Americans wear that kind of clothing while posh British people wear Spencer Hart (so that no one would know they are rich.) 

But according to Penny who had an American boyfriend — Micah — Americans enjoy shoving their money and status in other people’s faces.

I have noticed it to be true. 

Baz walks around and constantly makes sure we can see all his money, with various bank cards. One is black with gold letters on them, called _a gentleman gentlemen’s club_. (I wonder what that’s about.)

* * *

Today I followed him to a party. Well...not followed precisely. Penny dragged me to one in Gareth’s room.

When Baz sees me he immediately walks over to Gareth, sits next to him and tries putting the bloke under a vampire thrall. (I think Baz is a vampire even though his skin isn’t _grey_.)

“I like your belt buckle,” Baz says, placing his hand onto Gareth's knee while looking at me, “maybe you can show it to me more privately?”

I clench my fist and walk over, angry on Gareth’s behalf. 

“How dare you try to hurt him,” I shout at Baz.

His gaze on me doesn’t waver, if anything the intensity of his eyes is even greater. I can’t look away even if I tried. (It’s clearly the thrall.)

“Maybe I want to hurt someone _hard_ ,” he speaks and his voice is smooth as satin and deadly as arsenic. 

My cheeks burn, my heart stutters like crazy. I clench my fists tighter and shake them at Baz.

“You—” I growl just when Shep arrives next to me and puts his arm on my shoulder.

“Chill out bro,” he cuts in. “We’re all friends here.”

But I don’t mind Shep. He seems like a decent bloke. (Penny likes him.) _It’s Baz that I want._

“No wait. That’s not what I mean… what I want… ” I accidentally speak out loud. 

_Exposed_ is what I was saying obviously. I shake my head but can’t stop looking at Baz.

“ _What do you want_?” he asks, raising both eyebrows at me (Americans can’t raise only one.) 

Baz is piercing me with his look and making my head spin. 

When he licks his lips, I am having a harder time concentrating. What are we talking about?

“I want you exposed on my bed,” I blurt out and freeze.

Fuck.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. 💙


End file.
